books are the joy of my life and the bane of my wallet.
this is obviously the best video of all time. and in case you couldn’t tell, i’m totally related to these geniuses.
STILL THE BEST THING ON THE INTERNET. and you can believe me, cuz i’ve seen a lot of it.
Robyn / SNL Dance Comparison (by juneculp)
THE BEST THING ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW. i cannot believe my friend ashley JUST showed me this when she’s known about it since december. i thought we were friends.
A Year in New York (by Andy Clancy)
i know every single one of these places. i’ve taken those late night cab rides over the 59th street bridge. i’ve seen the waves pounding on the shore. i’ve gone swimming in that public pool, many times in fact. there is no place on earth, in the solar system, in the universe, so inspiring as my hometown. for me, it’s the biggest small town in the whole world and i wouldn’t change a goddamn thing about her.
i love her. so much.
Every time I go to the mall at Century City, I make it a point to park in those pink “Expectant Mother” spaces.
Fuck that ridiculous policy — fuck any stupid rule enacted by pant-suit wearing corporate trolls, enforced by mouth-breathing mall cops, and obeyed by mini-van driving stepford wives.
If I’m lucky, on my short walk to the escalator I’ll catch a sneer from some cunty nag with a double-wide stroller. Nothing makes me happier than beaming back a curled-up smile that says, “No, I’m not the least bit expectant, and fuck you for asking.”
But today — oh, my — today was delicious. As I hopped out of my car, an angry soccer mom waddled over. She wagged a chubby little finger at me and yelled out, “That spot is for pregnant women only!”
Without missing a beat, I shot back, “My abortion isn’t until this weekend, so fuck off.”
Stopped her dead in her tracks. It was beautiful.
still hilarious. and sadly, still relevant.